Nothing Gold Can Stay

Returning to one's roots can be a little unsettling.

Things that once seemed to be huge have shrunk. The local swimming hole. The high school football field. The backyard where we played as children. The hills of the golf course where we sledded in snow. Some things, however, appear comfortably and predictably, to have stayed the same. The whistle and clatter of the freight train making it's way through the night. The strength of the iron fence bordering the cemetery on Southern Avenue. The face of that small child....until I realize that, of course, the face I am remembering (although exactly the same) is that of this child's grandparent from decades ago. And then there are the things that have made a shift almost beyond recognition. A totally new road diverts pass-through traffic from the business route that goes through town. The corner ice cream shop where we used to purchase a nickel cone that dripped double-dips down our arms on hot summer nights has now been transformed into a tattoo parlor. An abandoned lot now yawns in place of the movie theatre where we watched Maw and Paw Kettle for a quarter while munching popcorn that cost a dime. And the church where I was baptized, confirmed, and married is now gone. Totally obliterated. Evaporated without a trace, like it was never there.  Sometimes, the emotions are too hard to absorb all at once. 

Admittedly, fall brings out the melancholy in me. So, on a recent pilgrimage to my hometown, I collected leaves along with memories and reveled in the beauty of the present moment. I could not help contemplating how our God who is immutable ministers change in our lives that He might transform and conform us to His image. All the while,  He remains constant, steadfast, true. With leaves tucked between pages of books, I returned home thinking of those who have gone before. I ache with desire to preserve the inevitable fleeting of this season. Yet, I am thankful for new bloom and flower and leaf that will come as the next generation flourishes. 

1. Immortal, invisible, God only wise, 
in light inaccessible hid from our eyes, 
most blessed, most glorious, the Ancient of Days, 
almighty, victorious, thy great name we praise. 

2. Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light, 
nor wanting, nor wasting, thou rulest in might; 
thy justice like mountains high soaring above 
thy clouds which are fountains of goodness and love. 

3. To all, life thou givest, to both great and small; 
in all life thou livest, the true life of all; 
we blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree, 
and wither and perish, but naught changeth thee. 
 

These are my people. Photo albums and digital files track the journey of our lives together. My gathered-leaves are stashed between pages of books, under potted plants and strewn on the dining room table. Does God color the Autumn spectacularly that we might more highly prize all that is precious and fragile and fleeting?

Teach us to number our days that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost