Gift from the Sea

The waves come sooner now than then,

Relentlessly......again. Again.

I used to catch my breath between

And now the swells seem twice as keen

Be Thou my Rock on which to lean.

The waves tumultuous, varied hue,

Some sparkling, effervescent, new.

Though tis not Fate from which they come

At times the musings where they're from

Leave spirits dulled and senses numb.

Teach me to breath along the way

Amidst the waves of storm or play.

When threatened by the undertow

Or choking in the tides that flow

Thy grace that I may fully know.

                                  

On a day nearly two decades ago, the lines of this poem came to me as I walked along the shore. The details  of life's circumstances on that day are unclear in my memory. History today. But I penned the words that are now glued  to the back of a black and white photo of tumultuous waters and stuck picture and poem together between the pages of my Bible. I reflect on them often. 

Twenty years ago, my oldest sons were just emerging from their teens. I still had a baby in arms and children sprinkled every age in between. Baseball games and ballet recitals. Bicycles, skates and doll  carriages in the driveway. Someone was eating their first  solid food, then sprouting a first tooth, or saying their first word. Another was taking first steps, or reading a first book, or winning the geography bee...getting braces put on their teeth...acquiring a drivers license...getting braces taken off their teeth ...applying for college. The transitions occurred predictably as each child wove  their way through developmental plateaus  with a kind of rhythm. But one day, when I turned my back, the consecutive changes turned into simultaneous swirling. The waves were gathering momentum and looming larger with tsunami symptoms.

                                  

I cannot remember the issues that concerned me so and inspired the poem. Yet, I remember the expanse of ocean as vast and magnificent as it is today and the sense of being anchored in the assurance that its Creator, whose footsteps are in the deep, would and could sustain me. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He can turn the tides, and does. He knows the way I take and my sighing is not hidden from Him. Those fragile-looking seagulls inspired me to face the wind. 

                              

A young friend having just birthed her fifth child shared with me genuine joy over her everyday days. At the same time she reflected that life had never been so difficult. "This is what I always wanted to do when I grew up," she mused. " I have always wanted to be a wife and mother and I am living my dream, but I have never had so many children at so many different ages and stages before....and it's never been this hard." Then she looked at me quizzically, as if a light had gone on, "Or else, maybe I made the last stage more difficult than it needed to be." 

Profound. My young friend was surprised to hear that her words had struck a chord in my heart....that her plight is right where I dwell today. I have never had so many children (and grandchildren) at so many different ages and stages before. The numbers (and waves) are certain to increase just as surely as my capacity for white-water rafting diminishes. I have often made it more difficult than it needed to be. The letting-go and learning to trust is a process. The stakes become higher, the climb more steep, the way more narrow. It is well. It is well, with my soul.

                                     

Psalm 107

      23Those who go down to the sea in ships,
            Who do business on great waters;

      24They have seen the works of the LORD,
            And His wonders in the deep.

      25For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
            Which lifted up the waves of the sea.

      26They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
            Their soul melted away in their misery.

      27They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
            And were at their wits’ end.

      28Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
            And He brought them out of their distresses.

      29He caused the storm to be still,
            So that the waves of the sea were hushed.

      30Then they were glad because they were quiet,
            So He guided them to their desired haven.

      31Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
            And for His wonders to the sons of men.